Week Three You Guys This Is Crazy

I mean can you even believe it? Already week three. That kinda blows me away. Like, by next Tuesday we'll be saying, "Only one more day!" and I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or dreading it. I've realized that my self control is terrible (not during the Media Fast... don't worry, I've kept off the media!). What I mean is that before the fast I was constantly on media, especially when I needed to be doing homework. Even when I wasn't doing homework, if I had nothing else to do, I would immediately turn to media to satisfy my need for "entertainment". And the things I scrolled through and listened to weren't exactly "wholesome" In fact, some of them tore others down or used crude humor, and the worst part was that I didn't even give a second thought about it. There was rarely a moment where a big warning sign popped up and said, "Now Madeleine, is this the kind of stuff people should be saying to each other?" Instead, I often kept scrolling through my feed, letting my mind be filled with things that didn't honor God or His creations.
     Now, whenever I hear secular music (in a restaurant, store, or blasting in someone else's car) I try not to listen, but if I do happen to catch the lyrics, I try to evaluate them. Are the things being said things that I would repeat? Things that I would be proud to say I listen to or hold fast to? Most of the time, the answer is no. So then I ask myself this question: Why is everyone so infatuated by this secular music if the things that are being sung are so awful? I don't have a straight answer, but I do think that one of the reasons is that it's appealing to the current culture and the human mind, although the ideas behind the songs could appeal to the human mind no matter what the time period. I'll admit that when I hear a song that I know and like when I'm out, I'll start to sing along, but then I stop myself and ask why I like the song. Is it because of the tune? Maybe, but that's not likely. Usually it's because of the lyrics, and although most of the songs I used to listen to are pretty clean, there are a couple that I realize have pretty bad lyrics (and even if they're not obviously bad lyrics, I know that the subliminal message is still there).
     So, having said all that, I come back to my original statement of being unsure about the end of the fast. I pray that when the end comes I will be able to retain my self control and continue to limit my use of social media (especially when it comes to homework time), but I know that I won't be able to do it alone. So, in a way, I'm looking forward to the end, because it will give plenty of opportunities for God to help me control myself; however, I will need lots of prayer and I know that I won't always be able to control myself.
     OK. That was a lot. Thanks for sticking with it, all of you. I know God has been working in all of us during this time, and I know He'll continue to work in amazing ways. Praying for you all!
     Madeleine